"I lie awake and wonder how to make a city believe...."

Sometimes, you just feel something in your bones that makes you want to stand up in the middle of the street or sidewalk and just scream out your love for God, to just yell at the top of your lungs and praise Him in the midst of all the craziness and dreariness of life.

And sometimes you lie awake at night, the day having gone by with pain and nausea rolling up and down your gut, a constant flow of sickness and helplessness, yet gazing up at the ceiling, and whispering "Thanks, God."

What drives such different reactions? What motivates people to do what others call "crazy" things? From my experience, it is love that drives such reactions. Love that comes from somewhere else. From above. Some people just don't get it. They don't understand. They look at you, barely walking and moving, and you're praising God of all things. They see you, and they don't get it. They look at you, and don't know what it is. That's what hurts the most-- some find it hard to accept that God would allow a person, much less a person they love as a friend, go through such pain.

How do you explain that to someone? Why do I have such a hard time talking with them about it? I don't know what to do. I want to reach out, I want to just.... let them see how much Christ loves them. And yet they push it away. And I don't want to force anything on them either. I want them to come. Oh how I want them to come.... *cries*

Okay, not really.... Bleh.

Okay, okay... sorry. I'm just..... bleh.

I'm done. No more "bleh"s. I just wanted to let some of you know that I am no longer in the United States. It was a very long, very boring plane ride to where I'm at, and it was on a C-130 at that. That means it takes like twice as long as if we had taken a commercial flight, and it was about 10 times as loud as one. Not so keen on C-130's right now.

That, and they have pink toilet paper here. It's disturbing. (Anna, I know you feel my pain..... kinda.) Ooo! We did see a guy ride a horse down the interstate when we were on the tarmac. That was rather..... random. Cool, but random. Well, I gotta go unpack. Hope you are all doing well! Please pray for me cuz I have no clue what I'm doing on this project..... I need the prayer right now. Hopefully, the PEB portion will be done quickly. (They say it's like a Lego set. All the pieces just fit together. I'm hoping that's true....)